Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips..

everyone just wants to watch you burn and crash
but we will show them, wont we?
youre just a posterboy for humanity
all walk and no talk of happiness
but i see the cracks in the mirror
worry lines deeper than laugh lines
i am a palm reader and my bachelors in the gutter
"oh how your eyes sparkle..."
throw in your two weeks notice
re-construction of everything you ever held dear
told to chasing cars in reverse on a highway...
(youre just fucking roadkill, kid.)
parents put you under home arrest on friday nights...
(youre just fucking buzzkill, kid!)
lovemaking in cuffs reminds you of nights with razors to your wrists...
(youre just fucking bonerkill, kid!!!)
inject me
i hate being loved
i want to be condemned
treat me like a monster
(its all i deserve)

I AM FALLING APART

and i find it kinda funny in that this isnt a plea for attention, its just to let you know i am beginning to accept my fate.

in other news i have found someone else- rather than you- to obsess over. its someone just as messed up as i am. we sorta just hang and talk about our personality flaws and how we are in love with them. its great. actually its amazing. i just gotta bite the bullet and share the inside of my head/heart/guts. and hopefully this time when i (eventually) get rejected, the carpet of self-confidence wont get ripped out from under my feet so hard this time. you made me eat the pavement.

but i thank you; you made me who i am today. i am over it and moving on.
are you proud of me?

"Shut your fucking face, or i'll smack you so hard in the mouth you'll be shitting out your wisdom teeth!"

Failure above the belt

my middle finger is stuck up at the world
fuck the kids
fuck the teachers
fuck the whole damn school
my mind is a blur but i love it
it equals the shakes in my hands everytime we exchange words
its usually ends up like a "heyhowareyougottogobyeloveyou"
even though i never mean it
thats the reason i have a energy drink 3xdaily
to make for the energy i lose trying to be normal
for once in my goddamn life i would kill to be laughed with not at
you think i love this? take a walk on a tightrope with your eyes and
ears shut.
dont listen to the boos and fuck yous
"good night, baby, sleep tight,
coz im gonna suffocate you with your blanket tonight!"

"let me serenade you! i wrote about drugs, sex, cigarettes x booze. i know the ups/downs of each one... to tell you the truth i may have a problem"

i take an ambien with a mouth full of adjectives
cap it off with adverbs and a handfull of laxatives
im not kidding when i say this world will swallow you whole
its true
itll send you back to your teenage
bedroom, licking your wounds
howl at the moon
this aint a fucking solo its mission from God
i know he hates me but my alter ego spits "fuck you, you dont know shit"
and while we are on the subject of violent outbursts and blasphemy
"i love you" just isnt a same with beer in hand
i wish i was made of slugs and snails and puppy dog tails
then id have a half decent excuse for always falling apart

Chainsaw love with all the accompanied mellodrama

it takes than glue to heal all wounds
will you stitch smiles onto all my scars?
feeling fragile pulses beneath bruised skin
shadow framed cheeks from the harsh sunlight
hearts thump to the deadbeat in a cemetaries
i love those mornings where we stay in bed till 4 in the afternoon
and we are so caught up in each other we dont know where you start and i end
i want nothing more than to be wrapped in your skin
ive wasted so many words and fucked it up when ive only meant well
to tell you the truth you are something of a mystery and i was enthralled from the beginning
i wish you would only smile when you meant it and i wish you would sleep better
dreams with me and you under city lights, even if the skylines are different
"it aint love but its got the same rush from heart to crotch"

Well fuck.

i don't even get your second-hand breath, let alone the love with it.

tongues for kissing and hands for caressing